• panic-at-the-discount-store:

    I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms



  • "No matter what, I will protect you. I promise."

    Ponyo (Hayao Miyazaki, 2008)

  • hellabitcoins:

ilovesmoothjazz1998:

hellabitcoins:

aliwav:

listen you boutta have the thickest smoodie of all time, where is your liquid? your ice? weak ass aesthetics, try again

smh they leave the strawberry tops on… might as well leave the gotdam banana peels on

hellabitcoins
u can eat strawberry tops… & recent studies are showing banana peels are healthy n nutritious for u:…. The turntables

n im sure the outside of a coconut is mad high in fiber but im not bout ta eat woodchips cause of no govermence scienticians

    hellabitcoins:

    ilovesmoothjazz1998:

    hellabitcoins:

    aliwav:

    listen you boutta have the thickest smoodie of all time, where is your liquid? your ice? weak ass aesthetics, try again

    smh they leave the strawberry tops on… might as well leave the gotdam banana peels on

    hellabitcoins
    u can eat strawberry tops… & recent studies are showing banana peels are healthy n nutritious for u:…. The turntables

    n im sure the outside of a coconut is mad high in fiber but im not bout ta eat woodchips cause of no govermence scienticians



  • stop-hammerkind:


doitsusleftnut:

I tried to rip someone’s heart out and all they gave me was-


SPITS

    stop-hammerkind:

    doitsusleftnut:

    I tried to rip someone’s heart out and all they gave me was-

    SPITS




  • pencilcat:

Just your typical feline in his fixed-spacial point. Be careful of his spine ridges, they’re quite poisonous.

    pencilcat:

    Just your typical feline in his fixed-spacial point. Be careful of his spine ridges, they’re quite poisonous.


  • promiscuous-petal:

    enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn’t get uncomfortable after 5 minutes


  • ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one thoughwhat am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)
After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.
One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 
She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.
Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.
Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..
And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

    ccesamestreet:

    spydercyde:

    obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

    But why the last one though
    what am I not getting

    I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

    Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)

    After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.

    One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 

    She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.

    Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.

    Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..

    And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.


  • lyricallucas:

    I will write about the following, leave one in my ask box.

    Dear person I hate,
    Dear person I like,
    Dear ex boyfriend,
    Dear ex girlfriend,
    Dear ex bestfriend,
    Dear bestfriend,
    Dear *anyone*,
    Dear Santa,
    Dear mom,
    Dear dad,
    Dear future me,
    Dear past me,
    Dear person I’m jealous of,
    Dear person I had a crush on,
    Dear girlfriend,
    Dear boyfriend,
    Dear [insert URL here],

    Dude this sounds fun


  • nicevagina:

    nuclearworld:

    Woman has a lot of sex: Whore.

    Man has a lot of sex: God.

    Woman is virgin by choice: Pure magical creature.

    Man is virgin by choice: Loser.

    society u ok

    i’m glad she included the flip side


  • thursdayplaid:

    clumsyoctopus:

    flower language has always been an intense source of disappointment for me

    like, they all mean really generic things like “love” or “forever” or “i’m sorry” 

    i thought you could combine flowers

    like you could just send someone a bouquet and from the combination of hibiscus and posies and tulips they’d understand “the rebel leader is dead, rendezvous at the docks at 8, bring the dog, you will need lighter fluid and  a large tomato”

    I really hope no one’s answered this for you yet, I saw this and got so excited that my obscure knowledge base might come into use.  I had to stretch a few flowers so to speak but Victorian flower language allows for alteration in meaning depending on colour, fruit, flower, bud, steam, leaves and thorns, so I didn’t feel I was too far out of line.  This message would work best as two bouquets bound together.  First red Nasturtium with no leaves (red denotes a leader, the nasturtium a patriot) mixed with white or red Mask Flowers (rebellion, red if you want to emphasize fighting, white martyrdom) around Cypress (death).  Then Chick weed (rendezvous) and Blue Convolvulus (night) surrounded by eight White Popular Leaves (symbolises the time: eight), Yellow Iris (flame, and a flower that grows by rivers) and Yellow Prarie Dock Flowers (this was closest I could find to docks)and one large Tomato Leaf, all bound in Dogwood Bark.  Dogwood represents deceit, but as far as I could find the bark wasn’t used symbolically, and as you referred to the dog instead of a dog, I thought it was likely the pun should be a dead giveaway.  

    So there’s your rebel message!


  • BW